A Birth Blessingway is a special time for a pregnant woman. In a Blessingway ceremony, the emphasis is moved from the traditional gift-giving and game-playing of baby showers to the offering of blessings for the mother, baby and family. Close female friends are asked to gather together in a Blessingway to honour the soon-to-be mother and her baby. And Blessingways are not just for first-time moms – just as each birth is unique, so too is each journey through pregnancy and into motherhood.

Guests are usually also asked to bring a few special items to "gift" to the mother. Sometimes there is a theme to the gift-giving, and at other times it is left entirely up to the guests to think of something special that honours the mother at this time of transition in her life. One of the special items often brought to a Blessingway is a bead which is strung along with everyone else's and made into a bracelet or two: one for mom and one for baby. Special items to place on the blanket or altar can also be offered. This item might represent something positive from the gift-giver’s own birth, something special that gives her strength that she wishes to pass on, or any gift or blessing for the baby.

Although a Blessingway is in many ways intended to be full of surprises for the woman being honoured, she has the ultimate say in the general picture of how things are run. For example, some women wish to include many rituals into their Blessingway, others may feel uncomfortable with some of the rituals and wish to incorporate only some of them into a shorter, simpler ceremony.

Here are some examples of rituals that can be observed during a Birth Blessingway. Smudging with a combination of herbs is often used to cleanse the energy and prepare the women for the sacredness of the ceremony. Generally, the pregnant woman is made comfortable in a soft chair or on a soft cushion – here she is allowed to be “queen” for a few hours! If she is not adverse to touch, her hair can be brushed lovingly and flowers or a wreath may be added for beauty and a change – this is to symbolize the change she will be going through in becoming a mother.

Her feet may be washed in a bowl of water and lavender flowers and essential oils. This is to represent a washing away of all her fears. After the washing the feet would be dried off and placed in a bowl of soft cornmeal - there is nothing more wonderful than to have your feet massaged by loving hands with cornmeal! This ritual represents the preparation of her feet for the long journey ahead of her.

During this time there can be singing, drumming and/or reciting poems/blessings by all of the woman gathered. Some pregnant women choose to have their belly painted with henna design; others bring a belly cast to decorate by all friends present.

There are many other traditions that can be used, and you – as the woman to be honoured or the friend planning the Blessingway for the mother-to-be – are most welcome to pick and choose, as well as to make up your own! Chanting to draw energy or closing the ceremony with something in the Goddess tradition can also be wonderful.

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Yours in health,

Monica Hofer CBC, CTH, Cert.Reflex.(RAC),CD (DONA)